Uplifted

Kathryn Juarez

Uplifted, digital photograph

Interview by L. Valena
September 11, 2023

First of all, can you please describe the prompt that you responded to?

Yes, it was a quilt and it had butterflies on it. It was mostly in pinks and blues and lighter colors, and it was hanging from a clothesline with clothespins. I was immediately very excited. I love working with butterflies and my grandma is very much into quilting. I’d been trying to brace myself for something completely out there, so when I saw that it was very familiar to me, I got very excited. My brain immediately thought of comfort, being uplifted, a cloak or a cape, just the concept of a quilt being comforting. I immediately latched onto that concept of comfort.

What happened next?

I set aside some time to go to my grandma's house. It was a brief moment when I didn't have to take care of my daughter or be at home. I showed the prompt to my grandma because she loves quilting and that actually inspired her! She said, “Oh, I should do a quilt!” [laughs] I love that it not only inspired me but inspired my grandmother. But it also made me think about why she makes quilts. She makes one for everybody in the family. She does it constantly. And again, it’s along the line of comfort, being there to uplift people, and be a reminder of, “Hey, I'm always thinking about you.”

So I sketched an idea and then I sat on it for about a day. Then I sketched out a whole other idea and merged the two together as the final image.

Is sketching usually part of your process? Are you someone who thinks through drawing?

Yes. It's why I don't like reading. It's hard for me to visualize things in my brain. So when I have an idea, it’s usually around a prompt or an idea or concept or a word. I have to sit down and actually sketch it out in order to visualize it and mold it and shape it and go from there. I have to see it, so I sketch every single idea I ever have.

That's cool. It’s so interesting how different people's brains work. Can you tell me about your process how you made this piece?

After I sketched it, I sat on it for a few days. Then I enlisted my daughter's help in shooting it. It didn't quite go as planned. Even in the shooting process, I had to alter my idea a little bit because it just wasn't working. I like to shoot outside and I do not like sunlight, so I usually shoot on a cloudy day or when the sun is gone behind the mountains near my house. I have a little bit of time before it gets too dark, so I was trying to shoot as fast as I could to get all the pieces. Then I stitch them all together in Photoshop. For one piece, I was jumping and trying to get my legs and my hair in a certain way. And then for another piece, I didn’t know what to do with my arms, so I gave myself a whole bunch of different options. Then I had to try to floof out the skirt a little bit. I had these butterflies I’d gotten from Michaels, and I held them up against this white backdrop so I’d be able to cut them out easier.

I made sure that I had all the bits and pieces I needed because I absolutely forget something all the time and then I have to alter. Once I had that, I actually sat on it for a few days, and then I got sick. It was a blessing because then I came home early from work and I stayed home on Friday. I could edit on the computer, little bits at a time. I wasn't just sitting down trying to get it all done. I could do a little bit and then step away and come back with fresh eyes. Edit a little bit more, come back, do that a few times. That process tends to work much better for me than just one-and-done because I miss a whole lot. I don't know what it is, but I always miss something: an edge of something isn't cut out right, or something isn't blended properly, or whatever. So it's good to come back. It was a blessing in disguise that I was able to work on it little by little during the times that I had.

Okay. So you shot everything separately and then you stitched it all together. Is that how you normally work?

Yes, probably more so than I should. [laughs] I’m the kind of person who failed physics in high school because I overthought everything and I couldn't follow the formula properly. I've noticed sometimes that when I'm editing things together, I could have just done it in one and it would have been fine. But to me, it's important to give myself options. When I'm editing, I'm trying to tell a story or convey a message, so I like to give myself the option to change it or have something that suits it a little bit better. For example, arm placement in this image. I wanted the arms to be more in the center of the body, and I wanted the cloak to kind of come around, like it was giving me a hug. That's the part I couldn't get. We tried, but I couldn't get the fabric to do what I wanted. So then the butterflies would just be lifting up, but there's still that inner hand toward the center of myself to convey insecurity or sadness or smallness. And then the contrast of the butterflies lifting up, opening up. I did shoot some with my arms outstretched but it just didn't fit what I was going for. So having options and the ability to piece things together, even in editing, is important to me. So I tend to overdo it.

That makes total sense. It sounds like you are conveying something really specific when you're doing this. Is that something that you can put into words?

Every time I create something, I do have something very specific in my mind, but I want to make work in such a way that whoever is viewing it doesn't feel left out. You can project what you're feeling onto it. It's telling a story or a message, but not so specifically that somebody looks at it, thinks it doesn’t apply to them, and moves on. In this case, I clung to the comfort idea, uplifting, community, helping somebody in need. I wanted the subject, me, to be insecure or sad or upset. Something has happened to her and she's just dejected. And then this community of butterflies is there, lifting her up and helping her to overcome that. The message I wanted to convey was that you're never alone, there's always somebody out there feeling what you're feeling. I wanted that to be clear in this particular piece, especially with the community of butterflies and the sunrise, which I got from the color scheme of the quilt. I really clung to the pinks and blues. It made me think of sunrise because everything is uplifting, a new day is coming. You can get through anything.

It's always fascinating what input I get when I create something. Sometimes, I never looked at the picture the way that somebody is saying, or I never even thought, “Oh yeah, I guess that part might say this.” I love hearing that feedback. It'll be fun to hear the feedback on this picture and see if it aligns with what I'm intending or not.

You never know! That’s one of the most powerful things about this project. Well, how did you get started making work this way, photographing different pieces and putting them together?

A long time ago, probably 14 or 15 years ago, I picked up a camera. You know, one of those little, digital, point-and-shoot ones. And I just started taking pictures of random things in my life. I was attempting to see the beauty in the smallest things. I took time out of my life to see, for example, that this particular flower looks beautiful, it’s speaking to me, I'm going to capture it. That turned into joining Flickr and doing a 365. In that process, I realized I like pictures of people and stories and them doing things. And the only person I knew to take pictures of was myself. [laughs]

In my college dorm room, I had a lot of blank walls. I was playing around with things like Photoshop, I was part of the Flickr community, and it just kept going from there for years. I left college and went to California to be with my now-husband. I didn't have as much free time because of, you know, real world responsibilities, but I still tried to keep up with it. It came in waves, but I would just continually try to grow and learn Photoshop and photography.

Even to this day, I go through lulls where I just can't find the inspiration or the time or the energy. But then when I get that itch again, I follow it and I go head-first. I'm watching YouTube tutorials, trying to learn as much as I can and get inspiration as much as I can. Thankfully, nowadays, I really just create for myself. Well, I do create for an audience. I create so people can see themselves in my art. But when I first got started, I needed to see good numbers, good feedback, validation. And that's not the case anymore, thankfully. That was not a great time. So I've grown in that way too. Now I just put stuff out there and I don’t care how many people see it or don't. I don't care how many people like it or don't. It's telling a message, and somebody out there needs to see it and I hope they do. But it just started with a point-and-shoot camera and a desire to learn and see where it goes.

Wow, I love that. You just had so much commitment to this path. Very inspiring.

Thank you!

Okay, if you were interviewing yourself right now, what would you ask yourself?

The first thing that comes to mind is maybe where I go from here. This is the first time I've ever done anything like this. I've always wanted to put myself out there, but I've never known where to go or who to contact. I hope that I can find more things like this to participate in. I love the challenge of it. That's one thing I miss from my Flickr days, the communities who say, “All right, this week, there's this theme. So make this.” I can't find that anywhere anymore! And I loved the challenge. I love being given something to work with that works my creative muscles.

That’s great. And do you have any advice for another artist approaching this for the first time?

Oh yeah. There are so many things I've learned. Like I said earlier, create for yourself. Only put out what you like. There have been many times when I've put something on my Instagram story saying, “Oh this failed picture, it looks so bad.” And everybody’s like, “Why?? It looks so good!” But I'm not going to post that because it's not what I like. If I put something out that I don't like, that opens up the door for “How many likes does it have? How many people are watching it? What do they think?” Just create what you love. Don't care about everybody else. I mean, you create for everybody, that’s part of art and creativity. But create for yourself.

Also, time is important. Especially in this day and age, this is very common and I do this myself: I don't want to do something unless I'm good at it. But everybody has to start somewhere. I look back at my stuff from a few years ago, 10 years ago, 13 years ago, and I cringe. I think, “Why did I ever think that was good?” But I had to start somewhere. And I wouldn't be where I am without all of that, just doing the thing, practicing, learning new things, and having fun with it. We don't need to impress anyone. Just have fun. You don't have to be amazing at a thing to do it, just do it. Over time, before you know it, you’ll think, “Wow, how did I get here?” And it's just time.

Call Number: M81VA | M83VA.juaUpli

My name is Kathryn Juarez and I currently live in Pennsylvania. I have been practicing photography for 15 years and in that time I have found my place among the surrealism self portrait community. I love to create art that tells a story and can help others who are struggling with or have struggled with their mental health.