Together Apart

Lilia Volodina

I can't wait to hear about your process! First, just describe what you were responding to. 

Sure! I was responding to a photograph of two round seed pods that are frozen in ice.

And what was your first thought? 

My first thought was like, Oh my God, what do I do with that? You know, it was a bit of a challenge to figure out what I wanted to do because I'm a multimedia artist. Like, do I wanna do some sort of movement or sound? It's already a visual art piece, so maybe I should do something different. But then, ultimately, I realized that I feel most comfortable with visual art at the moment. I decided I'd just go with that because I wanted to remove as many barriers as possible to my participating in this. So I decided to go with a visual art piece.

Great! And where did you go from there? 

From there, I started doing some doodling and noodling on paper. Because of the idea of these two pods together, I thought there needs to be two of something. Finally, I decided to just trust the process that I created earlier in the pandemic, when I started creating what I guess I would call “intuitive drawing”. I would use a pen or a marker and just draw lines and shapes without any planning and see what comes up. I came up with these bullseye figures first and I was like, Alright, that looks kind of cool, so I just added more to them. Then I started doing the background. I did a lot of the bold lines first just to create the overall shape of the piece. And then I started adding some smaller, finer detail. Here you can see these little spirals and I made these tentacles/arms/extremities here and then little spirals. And when I was doing that, I knew I wanted them to come closer, but not touch. I'm not sure what that was about. I guess I wanted this feeling of some sort of longing for connection but also a sense of separateness. For the rest, there was just more duality, like things divided in two.

Is that something that you felt like you were picking up from the prompt, those ideas of duality and separateness of two objects?

I think so, yeah. There is some sort of potential connection there. There’s a relationship between whatever those things are that I've created, but we don't know what it is.

Did that speak to you on a deeper level, that potential connection between two things?

A little bit. As I was working on it, I was trying to find some sort of deeper meaning, and I showed it to a friend. He said it’s just two squids having a tickle fight, which I thought was great.

[laughs] That’s pretty deep! 

Yes! Alright, if you want to make it humorous, sure. There is a longing for connection, but even though there is this closeness, there is no togetherness. I can definitely connect it to the theme of trust in relationships, like wanting to be close to someone but not being able to because of your own or other people's self-protection and defense mechanisms. It made me think of some of my past and current relationships, where I've noticed that dynamic.

It’s so hard, isn't it? I mean, for me, there's just this constant, “Okay, I could let someone in a little bit more.” 

Yeah, I agree. It's definitely a tricky process. I think a lot of that self-protection comes from the sense of needing to feel safe. And people might not feel safe for a variety of reasons. It is really hard to be able to intimately connect with someone if you don’t feel safe.

Yeah, absolutely. Along with the idea of safety, I'm thinking about the ice, actually. And I feel like I saw some imagery in your piece that was a kind of melting, maybe.

That's really interesting. You know, I haven't thought about it, but I definitely notice it here. Yeah, there is a lot of fluidity here. I like that interpretation, to be honest, because I feel like that's kind of my goal, to melt out of that protective numbness. To be able to connect.

“Protective numbness.” That really sounds familiar! [laughs] That sums it up well.

I do some somatic bodywork for myself, like in therapy and in other spaces, and that comes up a lot: being numb as a way to protect. So I feel really inspired that you noticed the melting in this

How does this relate to the rest of your work, if at all?

That's a good question. You know, like I've mentioned before, I used the same process as I've used for a lot of my other work in this past year, so I guess it relates in that way. I used the same materials, like pen or marker, and then watercolor markers or regular watercolors. I guess it also relates conceptually in some ways, even though this is more abstract, because a lot of my art is about telling a story. In the past, I would have a story and then think, How do I portray this? And sometimes, the story comes after I created a piece. It’s not like one of these ways is right or wrong, but I've been finding this way a little bit more intuitive and satisfying and easier to do.

I think it's so interesting how we can find a story wherever we look for it. We humans love making narrative and I think it's powerful to see it come through in different ways. 

I can show you an example. Here is a book that I made in the past. Even though it maybe doesn't quite make sense, there is a story to it. You know, there is a beginning, a middle and an end. And there are images that are something that you can recognize. This year, most of my work has been more like this.

Do you think that the general state of the world has changed your art-making practice?

It's possible. I'm sure I can't really escape being influenced by my environment. But I think part of it was also that my relationship to my work has changed. I've been just trying to find a way to feel motivated to make work. It's been really hard to do that without the structure of being in art school and stuff like that. I decided I'm just gonna have no expectations, and I think that's worked really well. 

That's great. Definitely a good way to roll. 

No expectations, no specific goal. I'm just gonna try it and see what happens. More of an experiment, rather than a specific project. 

Do you have any advice for another artist approaching this project for the first time? 

Well, I really hate unsolicited advice, but if someone wants to take it… I guess one would be to not overthink it too much. And to trust that whatever you make will be good enough. I think I had a lot of doubts about creating this piece, and then I made it. It seems like everyone appreciates it, so I'm like, Okay, that’s great.

Call Number: C54VA | C55VA.voTo

Lilia Volodina (b. 1988) is an interdisciplinary visual artist, musician and playback theater actress, originally from Russia, who currently lives and works in Cambridge, MA. They like to explore themes of identity, connection, and various aspects of trauma in their often surreal and other-worldly work. In the past year, they started doing experimental semi-improvisational drawings in order to lower their own barrier of engaging in art-making, and are very pleased with the results.