Indigestible

Jason Haaf

Indigestible, Collage/poem

Interview by C. VanWinkle
September 5, 2023

What was the prompt that you responded to? Can you describe it for me?

It was a poem called “Me Sandwich”. It was kind of rhymey. This is how I saw it. It started out basically about stacking an actual sandwich. And then it switched into what we stack within ourselves, like compartments within ourselves. I felt that it started sort of celebratory, as in a metaphor of stacking this sandwich and having satisfaction from that. Then I thought it went more internal, where it was about making or having room within yourself and stacking those qualities.

That's a great take on it. Could you relate to it? Did it speak to you?

Once I got to the second half, I related to it more. The first half felt very positive, which is good, but in the second half, I started relating to it once it started talking about the internal. The sandwich for me almost turned into the body. So when it went to the body, especially internal, that's when I started relating to it. And then I started thinking about digestion, literal and metaphorical. Yeah, the more that it went on, the more I related.

So you read this thing, you had your interpretation of it. How did you get started on your own piece?

I wanted to have my words be in it, but because the piece was sort of layered, I wasn't quite sure how to figure that out. I work with just paper and Sharpies. So I kind of did some automatic writing. The things that I immediately thought of were “internal” and “digestion.” So I just went off of that. I was thinking of people, and how we sort of take them in and have room for them, even within our bodies. And so I started going off about that, about internalizing someone else, metaphorically, like swallowing them in a way. And then how do they fit once they're in you? Do you want to spit them up? Do they digest easily? It sounds like cannibalism, but it kind of is a little bit. How do they live in you?

So I wrote about 12 lines. Then I separated all of them and I mixed and matched them. And I came up with four that I felt fit.

It does sound like cannibalism, especially when you're talking about actual digestion. It's a really juicy metaphor. Where did this collage piece come from and how did it come to be paired with the text?

I work a lot with vintage gay porn. I like working with something that is older, which already has a history behind it, just the visual of it. It's familiar, but it's not. And then I put my words over it, which are modern because they are existing now. So my process is this combination of taking something older, taking something newer, and putting them together. And then it creates its own narrative. For this piece, I worked how I normally work artwise, but the combination with another person's poem being involved did add a third layer to it.

That was an interesting twist. We don't really put care into which prompt we send to which contributor, but we do try to always change the medium. I normally wouldn't want to send a poem to a writer, but occasionally circumstances cause this type of situation to happen. Yours was a pretty unique experience in that way. You’re a visual artist as well as a writer. Do those things usually go together for you, or do you do them separately as well?

They're usually pretty separate. I consider myself more of a writer. The visual stuff came later. Honestly, I think social media had a little bit to do with me even going into visual art. I write a lot and I find that because we live in such a visual medium – I mean, now it's literally just videos all over – I had to find a way to put my words out, but have it be enticing enough since we are in such a visual time. But I always write first. Even with my art that is visual, the writing comes first and then I'll choose a picture or an image. I never look at an image and then write about that. I’m writing about something internal or in my head and then I choose the image later.

I see. I wonder how this process would have been different if I had sent you a purely visual prompt.

It's interesting. If you’d just sent me a visual prompt, I probably would have written. Maybe. Even though I don't do that within my own art, I feel like if someone else had sent me a visual, I might have tried to explain how it made me feel in a way.

Well I guess you’ll have to do this again sometime! Do you work from prompts very much? Is this an experience that is familiar to you?

I've only done it once or twice. Yeah, I haven't done it much. I was comfortable with it, but it was new. I think you guys worked with Melissa Diaz. She’s an installation artist.

We did! She made this really wild, colorful thing out of pipe cleaners and stuff.

She’s my best friend, and she had a great experience doing this. But it was very different from mine.

I can imagine. Is she how you found out about us?

Maybe. I feel like you guys just sort of appeared online. [both laugh] And once you appeared, we followed a lot of the same people, so I’m not actually totally sure. It’s possible.

So how do you feel about deadlines? You killed this one.

I work the same with deadlines. I prefer to do something right away. I just don't like having something sit. That's just me. I definitely don't procrastinate when it comes to deadlines. I like to work quickly.

I see that! Also, I follow you on the socials and you seem to have a lot of work out there and you post frequently. Are you constantly churning out work?

At least a few times out of the week. I guess it's also therapeutic in a way. I usually wake up in the morning with a line or two of writing going through my head. It feels good putting it out. It feels productive in a way. But also, I only put it out publicly if it reads well to me. I don't ever want to be one of those people who are just churning things out all the time because it's like you have to. Social media and art and everything, it's kind of like a form of capitalism at this point. It's like a job. I don't want to do that. But a lot of times in the morning, that's when writing comes to me, or at least lines come to me.

I totally agree about social media and capitalism. The pressure is so high to treat yourself like a factory, and that’s not how art thrives. You know, I once read an interview with a songwriter, and the interviewer asked if they have any favorite words. Do you have any words that are especially effective or vibrant?

The first word that comes to mind is “parallel.” I feel like I think of the word “parallel” a lot. Or “parallels.” Hmm. I'm not sure why that's the first one that comes to mind.

I wonder what that says about you.

I think it's about trying to find commonality with things or people. Not over-identifying with someone or something, but trying to find common threads, while still giving each side its own due in story.

That's cool. I should ask writers that question more often.

I have a question for you. Are you often surprised by how artists respond to a prompt?

Always. That's the best part! I open my email and there’s a strange little surprise inside. I might have some guess about it if I’m a little familiar with their work, but I'm always thrilled, or confused, or intrigued. And there have been some serious WTF moments when I’ve said, “I don't know what planet this came from, but it's bizarre and I love that.”

Yeah, that's fun.

Last question! Now that you are on this side of this process, what is your advice to someone else just getting started?

I would say to go through the prompt a few times. Even though I worked quickly, I read it once and I had an idea, and then I read it like two or three more times. So I would say spend time with the prompt. Even if you work quickly, spend time with the actual prompt.

Right on.

Call Number: C105PP | C107VA.haaIndi

Jason Haaf is a writer and visual artist living in Brooklyn, NY. He believes in unruly perspectives and strong beginnings on paper and film. His debut novel, "Harsh Cravings" was released by Polari Press in 2022. Photo by Patrick Lupinski