Cocoon (Self Portrait)

Kat Blouch

Cocoon (Self Portrait), spray foam, acrylic and mixed media on panel, 12 x 24 inches (detail — full piece below)

Interview by L. Valena
August 6, 2023

Can you start by describing the prompt that you responded to?

The prompt that I responded to was two images. One was a person on a road with butterfly wings, and there was some fabric with an image projected on it. And then in the second picture, the butterfly wings had fallen off of the person walking.

What were your thoughts and feelings about it?

If I'm doing something like this, I like to sit for a minute with the piece. I said, “This is what I think right now. Let me come back to it tomorrow and see if I still feel that way.” You know, in the mornings when that coffee hasn't hit. You have a different perspective of life when you don't have caffeine in you. So I looked at it the second time I was still feeling the same way. Now it could be that I lost my father recently, so I took the piece as something about grief.

I'm so sorry for your loss. Where did you go from there?

I usually think the opposite of what people think of symbols. I did a piece with fish, and people said that when you dream about fish, someone's pregnant. But for me, fish symbolize death. When I see butterflies, it makes me think of growth, so I thought about my own growth. I'm going to be 44 in February. I immediately thought of being in a cocoon, like a caterpillar before it emerges as a butterfly. For me, I'm more interested in that middle part because that's where the meat of growth is, that process between your birth and death. I'm not interested in the beginning or the end product; I'm more interested in that process. That's why I made the piece.

I had this mat with the face in my basement for ages. And it's my face. I was experimenting with plaster gauze and using it as a mold because mold stuff is expensive. It's expensive! I wondered if I could do it cheaper. So it sat in the basement for years and years and years. It used to be painted white with red lips, and when I saw it, I thought, “That's it. That's what I'm going to do my piece on: the cocoon.”

I love that idea. And inside the cocoon, all this growth is happening that you can't see. That’s really interesting. It's this hidden process and that seems like a really potent idea.

It's a metaphor for how we live our lives. Right now, I'm alive, you're alive, and that is our cocoon. And when we get to that point of peace with ourselves, that is when we get our butterfly wings. We become butterflies when we realize, “Ah, this is who I am. This is who I'm going to be to my last breath.”

Wow, I love that. Okay, so you started with this plaster cast that you had. What happened next?

First, I was going to make it round. But I decided I didn’t want to do that. I wanted to show the whole cocoon, so I had to go get a panel board that was the perfect size. I found that, and then I painted the face first with spray paint and I decorated it and everything. Then I got styrofoam balls and put them under the neck, and then I used spray foam—that’s one of my favorite mediums right now—to cover the entire thing. I used the styrofoam balls to get the shape that I wanted, instead of just sitting there with spray foam, waiting for it to dry, and then putting on another layer.

It's a huge process. If you look closely at the cocoon itself, I have glass beads in there, and glitter, and more paint [laughs], and gold leaf…

And eyelashes!

And eyelashes, which was the least fun part of the process, because I don't wear makeup. I don't wear lashes. I was like, “Aww gosh, does this look right?” And I used UV light to seal the jewels, because the eyelashes have jewels, so the cocoon has texture. Then I got moss and I used that in the background.

Wait, that's real moss?

Yeah, that's real moss.

That’s so cool! [laughs]

It is everywhere in this studio. Everywhere! I don't recommend it.

Wow! What inspired you to use real moss?

I wanted to look like an actual piece in the grass. I wanted it to feel as natural as it is imaginative. I like to blur that line between fantasy and reality, even with other works. I like to add some element of realness there.

I love that you’re adding this natural element into this work. You're using spray foam, gold leaf, and fake eyelashes, all these really processed materials, and it's so cool that you were like, “And also moss.” [both laugh]

It was not fun. I didn't realize when I bought it that it would have this weird rice paper on the bottom. So when I glued that at first, it was not sticking to the panel and I couldn't figure out why. The whole sheet of moss just peeled off and UGHHH moss was everywhere! So then I went back and took off all of whatever that was underneath it and the mesh. I just ripped it out and re-glued it with the wood glue and put it on there.

Wow, that’s crazy. So the moss was on a rice paper?

Yeah, it comes on this really weird thing on the back. [shows packaging]

Oh that makes sense. It would have to have something to grab onto.

Right! I had no idea. I thought I just got a bag of, like, *moss* moss. Then I saw that and said, “Oh no, what is all this stuff? Why is it not sticking on there?” That's why.

Do you have to mist it to keep it green?

I’ve never worked with it before so I have no idea!

[laughs] Yeah, I don't either. I’m just curious.

It doesn’t really say. It just tells me different kinds of moss. And now I just realized there’s a way to open it on the bottom, and I'm cutting it like a savage on the top.

I always do that too! I want to hear more about this cocoon idea. By the way, I really love how highly decorative this face is. Is it the face of a person (or “person”) who is sleeping and growing in there? Is that what's going on? Tell me more.

I never really cared too much for bright colors. I always leaned toward muted colors. And then I started playing video games. It's so weird that I credit that for my love for bright colors, but it always brought joy. I like using bright colors to talk about darker subjects because it brings light, and it gives people comfort when they see something bright. Then they read a description of the piece and say, “Ohhh, that's pretty dark.” But it's a comfort thing for me. Bright colors bring me comfort.

When I was working on this piece, I was playing around with an AI app. I kept putting in bright colors and it gave me all these things. I am very vague; I just let it choose. And I was seeing all these faces with jewels and all this other stuff, and I love that. It reminds me of ancient Egypt and how beautiful those death masks look. They don't get to see their own obviously, because they're dead, but they're all so ornate and beautiful. That's what it made me think of. And that's why I used the jewels and the gold butterfly wings on the forehead.

So you are using AI to generate ideas? That’s such an interesting way to use it.

Yeah, I'm a really hard over-thinker. I always have a lot of ideas. I just got recently diagnosed with PTSD and it helps sort my ideas out. It's not perfect. I don't ever share my AI art that I work on because it's not exactly what I want it to be. So I just use it as a tool. If I have all these ideas and I'm not sure which way to go, I'll just put it into the app and let the app generate it for me. “Okay, I can make something like that in my own way, and my style.” I'm really into clay and stop motion-looking things. I just like working with my hands a lot.

So when you were putting stuff into the app for this piece, did you ask for a cocoon? What were you putting in there?

It's funny because ‘cocoon’ wasn't even in the thing. I was just going through some of the older pictures when I found that. I would put in ‘bright colors,’ ‘jewels,’ ‘rhinestones’… I might add ‘portrait’ or ‘bust’ or ‘anime.’ And I just let it do what it needs to do. I might sit there for hours finding images I like. This image is more about what I'm talking about. It's hard for me to get very detailed with it because what I see in my head, I don't know how to say it. So I just use the main points.

I totally relate to that. There's a reason why we make art, right?

Right! I must say it was quite a process. It was very weird to come into the studio and see my face in there. It'll probably go in the closet. [laughs] It's kind of surreal because I never usually do self-portraits. So this one I felt had to be made.

I think it's like the middle of my career and I’m bound for these new materials that I've been playing with, uncommon materials. I’ve been playing with caulk and spray foam, things that aren’t commonly used in the art world. When people do use spray foam, it’s usually for sculpture, for something underneath. But it’s interesting on its own!

Yeah, it really has a very unique texture and weight.

You think it's heavy but it's actually incredibly light, which is why I like working with it. And I like throwing beads and all kinds of materials on top of it because it's just so interesting. Also, you don't have full control of how it grows, which is another metaphor for life. You can't control life itself. I can control the nozzle and I can control where I put it, but as far as its growth, I can’t control how thick it's going to get or how small it’s going to stay. That's my favorite part of spray foam. I love its randomness.

What a beautiful metaphor for life. We can control the seeds we plant, but we can't control what happens to them.

Right, exactly. With caulk, I have a little more control. I'll put it in a pastry bag and I have different nibs. I've seen people using that with phones, and that’s cool, but I want to use it for bigger pieces. And maybe not-so-big pieces. And I love hot glue.

Hot glue is amazing.

It's fun, but then you get those strings everywhere. Yeah, something about it is annoying, but when it dries it’s oddly satisfying.

It is like the sculptor’s panacea, isn’t it? Whatever ails you, hot glue will probably help. This is your second time through this process. Do you have any new advice for other artists who are approaching this for the first time?

I will say that before they jump and make something, sit with the piece for a while. For at least two days, at different times. Sit with it in the morning and then sit with it in the afternoon or night, and see how you feel about the piece before you jump into it. You're gonna have different emotions throughout the day and time. That's my advice: sit with the piece and really sit with your emotions.

Call Number: M77VA | M79VA.bloCo

Katherine Blouch (1980, Brooklyn NY, United States) is an artist who works with a variety of media. Choosing mainly spray foam, she creates personal moments and daily life. She develops re-imagined forms from her childhood memories and everyday life.